


Bad Plans, Good Results

by NotBettaRed



Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Alcohol, Breathplay, Handcuffs, Jealousy, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Renegade Shepard (Mass Effect), Rough Oral Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-15
Updated: 2013-08-15
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:20:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,239
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24275002
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NotBettaRed/pseuds/NotBettaRed
Summary: Trying to make Zaeed jealous by fucking Wrex might have been a bad plan. Yes, that was almost definitely a terrible plan. ...unless, of course, it was actually the best plan ever.
Relationships: Zaeed Massani/Male Shepard
Kudos: 9





	Bad Plans, Good Results

**Author's Note:**

> Old, old fic I was recently reminded of. Originally posted to the Mass Effect Kink Meme on 8-15-2013.

"What the hell do you want?"

Shepard leaned back against the wall, just inside the door to Starboard Cargo, and held up the bottle of scotch. "Peace offering."

"Not interested," Zaeed snapped, crossing his arms and glaring back at him. "Cerberus is paying me to fight. Not to be your goddamn friend."

"That's too bad," Shepard said, "considering that you're one of the few people on this ship I can actually stand talking to for more than five minutes."

"Yeah. Too bad. Now leave the whiskey and get the hell out."

He walked over and set the bottle down on the table, careful to stay out of punching range. "I'm not going anywhere," Shepard said. "Not until you tell me what your problem is. You've been a pain in the ass ever since we got back from Tuchanka."

"No idea what you're talking about."

"Right," Shepard said, rolling his eyes. "Thing is--if I didn't know better--I would almost think you were jealous."

"Like hell I am. You want to whore yourself out to some krogan, what do I care?"

Shepard's eyes narrowed, but he did not rise to the bait. Punching Zaeed right now would probably put a permanent end to...whatever this was. "Bullshit. If you really don't give a fuck, then why the hell have you been such a dick all week?"

He picked up the bottle of scotch, twisted off the cap, and took a long swig, making a face at the taste. How the hell did Zaeed drink this shit?

"Give me that," Zaeed said, stepping forward to grab the bottle out of Shepard's hand. "Not much of a peace offering if you go and drink it yourself."

"I thought you weren't interested in a peace offering," Shepard said. He did at least have the decency to wait until Zaeed had finished drinking before stealing it back. Scotch might taste like shit, but he had paid for it, so he would damn well drink it. "And on that note, I really couldn't see any reason why I shouldn't pick things back up with Wrex, since you'd made it clear that you weren't interested."

Zaeed frowned, actually looking troubled at that, so Shepard took pity on him and handed the bottle back.

"So, you and the krogan. That's not something new?"

"Hell no. You know he helped me take down Saren two years ago."

"Yeah, but the way I heard it, you were all busy being big goddamn heroes."

Shepard smirked. "It can be a long time between relays, Zaeed. Gotta find some way to pass the time."

Zaeed took another swig from the bottle, then leaned over and stuck it behind a crate, out of Shepard's reach. "Dammit, Shepard. I never said I wasn't interested."

"What? But you turned me down!" Shepard said, then got annoyed at just how whiny that sounded, even to his own ears. Commander Shepard did not whine. That was obviously the liquor's influence.

"I figured you should have to put a little goddamned effort into it. Not just stagger in here drunk and expect to get laid."

Shepard blinked, and considered that maybe Zaeed had a point. He immediately dismissed the thought. Grin spreading across his face, he walked over and planted one hand on the wall by Zaeed's head and leaned in closer. "So, what then? You wanted me to woo you first? Maybe buy you some flowers?"

"Shut the hell up."

"Pretty yellow flowers," Shepard continued, smirking. "To match your armor. Maybe some chocolates too. I saw some nice ones on the Cita--"

In an obvious bid to _make_ him shut the hell up, Zaeed reached out, grabbed him by the back of the neck, and pulled him in for a hard kiss. Shepard was more than willing to go with that. It was even better than that first kiss, especially since he had a good feeling that this one was not going to end with him being kicked out of the room and told to go sober up.

Shepard pressed in closer, vaguely annoyed that Zaeed was wearing armor, because that was not comfortable. Who the hell wore armor all day every day? He slid his hands back and down and was grateful that at least Zaeed's ass wasn't armored.

Zaeed moved his hand up the back of Shepard's head and grabbed like he was expecting to find hair. When there was not any, he made a frustrated sound and went for an ear instead, pulling hard and dragging Shepard's head back.

His startled, "Ow! What the fuck?" turned into a groan when Zaeed bit down hard on his neck. There was going to be a bruise there later, but he really could not bring himself to care.

"The first thing you should know, Shepard, is that I don't share," Zaeed said, mouth still pressed against his neck. "So, we end up back on Tuchanka, that krogan of yours better keep his hands to himself."

"Uh huh," Shepard agreed vaguely, rather amazed by how the growl in Zaeed's voice seemed to go straight to his dick. Then his brain caught up with the actual words and he pulled back, raising one eyebrow. "Wait a second. It's a little early in the game to start getting possessive, don't you think?"

"You don't like it, there's the door."

His dick threatened to mutiny if he objected, so Shepard just grinned. "Okay. Yeah. I can live with that."

"Good," Zaeed said, and smirked. Then he twisted, and in one fast move he was behind Shepard, pinning him face-first against the wall. He slid his hands down Shepard's back to his ass, giving it a squeeze, then rubbed his thumbs hard along the crack.

Shepard groaned and pressed back against Zaeed's hands. _About fucking time,_ he thought. He had been wanting to do this since their first mission together, but Zaeed had almost managed to convince him that it would never happen. Now if he would just quit playing around and fuck him already.

That train of thought was completely derailed when Zaeed grabbed his arms, pulling them back and snapped restraints around his wrists. "What the hell?" he protested, tugging at the cuffs to test their strength. He could probably break through them, if he had to, though he would have to use his biotics.

Still, this did have the potential to get interesting fast.

"Just so you don't start thinking you're in charge here," Zaeed said, as he grabbed his shoulder and flipped him back around. He pushed the vest down over Shepard's shoulders, where it tangled around his arms, then started tugging at his shirt so he could get a hand underneath it.

"I'm always in charge," Shepard said. "That's why--" he broke off with a groan, head falling back against the wall, when Zaeed found a nipple and pinched it hard. "--why I'm the Commander," he finished, somewhat breathlessly.

"Sure. You keep telling yourself that," Zaeed said, an infuriatingly smug look on his face. He leaned back in and kissed Shepard hard, teeth dragging over his lips, while his hands continued to explore under Shepard's shirt.

Shepard pressed forward, sliding his tongue into Zaeed's mouth and trying his best to take control of the kiss. He was rewarded with a low groan and considered that a victory. Too soon, Zaeed broke away, turning his attention back to Shepard's neck.

"Damn it, Zaeed," Shepard said, and this time he was definitely not whining. That was just a thing his voice did when he was about to die from sexual frustration.

"Something you want, Shepard?" Zaeed's hands dropped lower, making quick work of Shepard's belt, and then his fly, so he could get his hand into Shepard's pants.

Shepard jerked violently, head slamming back against the wall, as soon as Zaeed's hand wrapped around his dick. "Fuck! Yes. More of that," he begged.

"Yeah. I don't think so," Zaeed said, pulling his hand away and making Shepard curse. "First, I think you owe me an apology."

"An apology! What the hell for?" Shepard protested.

"Trying to make me jealous," Zaeed said. "I don't like games."

"Worked, didn't it?" Shepard said, smirking. He changed tactics fast when Zaeed's eyes narrowed. "Okay. Yeah. _An apology._ You have something in mind?"

"Got a few ideas," Zaeed said, taking a step back. He reached out with one foot, hooking Shepard behind the knee and pulling hard.

Shepard's knees hit the deck hard, and he would have crashed face first into it if Zaeed's knee had not caught his chest, pushing him back. The wind knocked out of him, Shepard sucked in a breath and then looked up at Zaeed, grin spreading across his face as he licked his lips. "I can work with this."

"Good," Zaeed said, "because I plan to make you work for it."

He watched intently as Zaeed finally started stripping out of his armor. The metal pieces clanged against the deck as they were tossed aside. When Zaeed pulled his dick free of the black undersuit and gave it a stroke, Shepard sucked in a sharp breath.

"Fuck," Shepard said. "Who the hell needs krogan when you're dragging that thing around?"

"Less talking," Zaeed suggested, as he pressed the head of his dick against Shepard's lips.

More than happy to oblige, Shepard opened his mouth, letting Zaeed slide inside. His tongue swirled, spreading moisture around and pressing hard against the vein on the underside of Zaeed's dick. Lips tightening, he leaned forward, taking it deeper.

When the head nudged against the back of his throat, there were still several inches of dick left to go. Shepard groaned, already thinking about how good this huge dick was going to feel pounding into his ass later.

His arms jerked against the restraints. He wanted nothing more than to grab on to Zaeed's ass and urge him forward. Well... He wouldn't say no to a free hand to deal with his own dick, which was still throbbing almost painfully between his legs.

"That's more like it," Zaeed said, voice low and rough. His hands clamped down hard on Shepard's head, tilting it back a bit before he started to thrust, slow and easy at first.

Shepard groaned, eyes falling shut, as he tried to concentrate on keeping up the suction and dragging in quick breaths through his nose between thrusts. Usually he liked to have a little more control over things than this, but... Being tied up, pinned against the wall, and unable to move was ending up as more of a turn on than he would be willing to admit.

He let out a noise--not a desperate whimper; something far more manly and dignified than that--and it seemed to get the point across. Zaeed shifted his weight over to one leg, so he could get the other one in between Shepard's legs, finally putting some pressure where he needed it most.

The change in position left him even more off balance, and Shepard pulled against the cuffs again, wishing he could grab on to something. Not that he would have objected, even if he could. His hips jerked forward, and while rubbing off against an armored boot would not normally be high on his list, he was too close to the edge to complain about it now.

Zaeed's thrusts were starting to get more erratic, coming in harder and deeper, hinting that he was probably just as close. Shepard was damn glad that he had long since worked past having any kind of a gag reflex, but he was starting to wish that he had found an alternate method of breathing. He was getting more than a little light headed.

When the burn in his lungs became almost too much to handle, Shepard tried to pull away, but Zaeed's hands just tightened, holding him in place and thrusting in even deeper.

"I don't think so," Zaeed said, sounding almost as out of breath as Shepard was. "You want to breathe, you better hurry up down there."

That should not have been a turn on. _Oxygen_ was a turn on. Shepard was going to be having a very long talk with his dick later about appropriate reactions. In the meantime, he swallowed around the dick that was lodged in his throat and pressed his own harder against Zaeed's boot.

Just as darkness was starting to close in on the edges of his vision, he felt Zaeed's dick twitch, and the first bursts of cum hit the back of his throat. Zaeed pulled out just in time to leave the last of it on his face, dripping down across his mouth onto his chin.

Shepard sucked in a desperate breath and as soon as the air hit his lungs, his hips jerked forward and he came, hard and shuddering. He collapsed against Zaeed's legs, enjoying the novelty of breathing, and the feel of Zaeed's hand rubbing over the stubble on his scalp.

"Oh, fuck yeah," Shepard gasped out, as soon as he could manage talking again.

"Not sure you're supposed to enjoy an apology that much," Zaeed said, giving him a nudge with his knee.

"What, we done already?" Shepard leaned back so he could look up at him, grin sliding back into place. "Thought you were going to make me work for it."

Zaeed laughed. "Don't worry. I'm not done with you yet."

Hell yeah. Best plan ever.

**Author's Note:**

> I resisted the urge to edit the hell out of this, so this is as originally posted, give or take some italics.


End file.
